You started kindergarten last week and your Daddy and I couldn’t be prouder of you. Sometimes we think you’re super confident, and then it hits us that you’re not, that you’re scared, even timid, and we eventually find out that you’re a little nervous that you won’t have any friends. But in your usual sweet Kasen fashion, you’ve already made lots of friends and can’t wait to see them and learn with them everyday. We were pretty worried at first when we told you that you had to wear a uniform and you asked if we could buy you the same shoes in pink. When we replied that you couldn’t wear pink, you shockingly asked, “WHAT?! I can’t wear PINK?!” LOL However; you put on your uniform with excitement your first day and even allowed me to take lots of pictures of you before we left the house, and even when we arrived at school. Thank goodness I bought that red apple and told you that you could put it on your head for the photo shoot. Otherwise, I’m not sure you would have been as cooperative.
While you were sleeping on the night before your big day, I was getting ready. Getting your lunch ready, with such great healthy food that you would hardly touch that first day, because you were undoubtedly talking too much. I was ironing your uniform, laying out your socks and shoes, and making sure we had the perfect bow to match your uniform. Not only was I getting everything physically ready, I was preparing my heart. Knowing that this is the beginning of “big kid” school, knowing that you’re growing up and knowing that you will become more and more independent and spending even more time away from me. It seems like just yesterday that you were born and I spent my days playing with you, dressing you up, and marveling at this wonderful baby that totally brought sunshine into our lives. Prayers were answered and you brought the most glorious light into our home and into our hearts. We’ve watched you grow from a tiny little baby in our arms to the sweet, loving, spunky girl that you are today. You’ve always amazed us with your independence and that didn’t change on your first day. You were certainly ready for us to leave the classroom, but I loved that you still gave all of us hugs and kisses before we walked out the door. When I saw you reach down, hug Holden and tell him that it was okay, you’ll see him later, it makes me so proud of the big sister that you’ve become. Despite your nervousness, fear and excitement for such a big day, you still took that time to ease his fear of leaving his big sister behind. I know I keep saying it, but you are growing up so fast.
We hope that your teacher “gets” you this year, that she understands that you want to sit still and listen, but it’s sometimes difficult for you. That it’s hard for you to give in when you so desperately want to finish something, even though there may not be time for that. It will be obvious that you have great manners, that you’re funny, that you’re sweet, and that you’re lovable. It may not be as obvious that you inwardly struggle with being compliant, that it’s hard for your brain to filter all the stimuli entering it at any one given moment, and that you crave to be in control. Letting that go will be difficult for you, but we pray that your teacher will help you on this journey with compassion and grace.
I’m excited to see where this year takes you, the things you’ll learn and the newfound confidence you’ll gain in so many areas of your life. And I’ll be right there, by your side, helping you learn and guiding you every step of the way. We’ve already started the homework game and it hasn’t started off as seamlessly as I had hoped. But I know you’ll persevere and work hard, and we’ll celebrate the rewards when you learn a new math problem, write your letters within the lines, and learn to read a book together. We sat at the dinner table several times this week working on homework pages, and I can’t tell you how much my heart swells with pride when you conquer a homework problem, then that sweet smile spreads across your face, your eyes light up and you scream with joy. I always want you to have a love for learning and enjoy the places that your knowledge will take you.
My sweet, joyful girl, I love you more than words can say and I’m so proud of you. I have to be honest and say that I did cry your first day of kindergarten, not because I didn’t think you could handle it, but because you’re growing up a little too fast for my taste. I know you tease me and say that you can’t stay little forever, but it’s just hard for me to let go. I don’t want anyone to hurt your feelings, or make you think you’re less than. I still want to be able to snuggle you when you’re sad, and be there to dry away your tears. And I will be. I’ll be there waiting outside your classroom everyday, happy to hear you excitedly yell “Mommy!” and to listen to you tell me about your day and what new adventures you’ve encountered.
See ya’ later!!