I wish that I could say that our long weekend has been fun and carefree, but so far it’s been rough . . . really rough.  Brad started working Friday night and is STILL working - he’s been on and off of the very same conference call since then.  I think they’re going for a record, or they’ve already set one.  Whatever, not fun.  Not fun trying to get the kids to be quiet, not fun missing him, and frustrating not getting to do fun family stuff.  Oh well, we’re still hoping for some free time for him tomorrow.  It’s been HARD on both kids.  Kasen and Holden were both acting up and now Kasen is coughing non-stop.  Ugh.

I decided we would try a mini photo shoot this morning, and that didn’t go quite well either! LOL  Kasen was really cooperative, but Holden didn’t want anything to do with our demands.  Soooo, I just shot and hoped to capture a few good shots.  And that’s what I got, a few good shots.  I’m guessing we’ll try to watch fireworks next year - crossing my fingers!

Here are the kiddos - I actually love these!  I did try to get both kids in the same shot, but like I said, didn’t go well.  Sooo, what you see is what you get! LOL

See ya’ later!!  Happy Fourth!!!!!!!!!

I hope that all of the fathers, and fathers-to-be had a GREAT Father’s Day!

This picture was taken a few days ago of my two guys, Brad and Holden.  Notice that scratch on Holden’s face, he always has at least one or two.  He’s crazy adventurous, and with that, comes many bumps and bruises.

I’ll have to add a pic of Kasen with her Daddy later.  It’s kind of hard to get Father’s Day pics, when the Daddy is out of town.  We sure miss him, but we still had fun with the grandparents.  Playing in the pool is always a great way to beat the heat.  And man was it hot . . . . . even worse to wake up at 2:00 a.m. this morning and realize that the air conditioner had quit working.  Thankfully we have two units, so I kept one unit pretty cool, so the other rooms wouldn’t get too overbearing.  Thank goodness for Brad’s Dad, he fixed it for us and saved us from having to call somebody out.  Here it is Father’s Day, Brad is out having fun with the guys, and his Dad is fixing our air conditioner and working on our filters.  Doesn’t seem right does it?! LOL  Guess we’ll have to take him out for a special dinner when Brad returns.

Even though I dogged on Brad *just a little*  , he is the BEST Dad . . . . really.  It’s noticeable every day, but sooo much so when’s gone, because he is so helpful with the kids.  It’s quite hard to juggle them when I’m on my own.  My Mom’s here right now and that helps, but there’s just nothing like Daddy reading them stories and putting them to bed.  Oh yeah, and the cooking.  I sure miss the cooking.  I’ll admit, we’ve eaten out a lot already and the pizza guy knows us quite well.  It won’t be too long before they’ll be eating home cooked meals again . . . . . I’m counting the days for that . . . . . .and so are they!  LOL

See ya’ later!!

I’m baaaaaccckkkkkk . . . in case you missed me! LOL   We took a road trip during Memorial  Day Weekend to see my family in Iowa, and we just returned on Monday.  It was a LONG drive . . . especially with two littles.  Whew!  I’ll definitely need a year to recover to try again I think.  The whole family drove up together, Brad flew back after just a couple of days, and we snagged my Mom and brought her home with us.  The kids did great on the drive there and the drive back, I was pleasantly surprised.  It was a hard trip, but they were both troopers.  It helped that we had lots of things for them to do, lots of snacks and we *tried* to have unlimited patience . . . . . . “tried” is the key word! LOL  Kasen could not have had more fun with her cousins, and Holden had quite the time as well.  It was the first time that everybody had met Holden except for my nephew Lucas, and of course, my Mom.  They were as smitten with him as he was with them.  He definitely fits right in!

Everybody was so great and I was able to take LOTS of pictures, which I will share later on!  I’ve been crashing early since we got back home since I haven’t been feeling well.  Brad and Kasen were sick on the way there, and they were kind enough to pass it on to Holden and me!  Mom was getting sick before we got there and now she’s a little under the weather too.  It won’t be long before we’re all running at full speed again!

Here’s one picture until I can post more!  Here are my beautiful nieces, two of which will be graduating from high school next year.  It just shocks me.  And my youngest niece is thirteen (the one in the middle).  Where has the time gone?  They have always been beautiful young girls, but now they are gorgeous young women.  What a great family I have!

See ya’ later!!

Our sweet little girl is very sick tonight.  She wouldn’t even touch her supper, or her drink, not even a popsicle. . . just sat at the table and cried that her head hurt.  She has a fever and she was even reluctant to take her “cherry medicine” - aka Children’s Tylenol, which she LOVES.  Guess we’ll have  a day of watching cartoons and movies tomorrow since she isn’t going to school.  Hopefully she’ll just be calm and not super cranky.  I really hate seeing her like that, soooo quiet, sooo still, not like our rambunctious, exuberant girl AT.ALL.  She did finally eat a popsicle and have few bites of dinner, so I’m feeling a little more hopeful.  Poor girl, I really thought she was just having allergy problems.  Guess I was wrong.

Here she is in happier times - our annual Easter egg shot - taken at Brad’s parents’ house because they have the lovely green grass that doesn’t turn brown during the winter.  Ours is a yucky brown color still.  We’re seeing a little green so it won’t be long now.

Hope your Valentine’s Day was sweet.

See ya’ later!!

It’s always tradition to get a picture of Kasen with Halle’s ornament every year.  I guess it’s a way to include in her in all the festivities.  A little story behind the ornament - if you’ve read Halle’s story (here, here & here), you might know that only one other person held her besides Brad and myself, and it was our wonderful friend, Susanne.  She actually introduced Brad and I, so it was pretty fitting that since she was there for our happiest time, that she would be there for our darkest time as well.  Susanne called me every single day after we lost Halle, checking on me, listening to me vent, and lending a shoulder for me to cry on.  I’m sure we met several times after Halle died, but I really remember meeting her in December for lunch.  That December was the hardest December of my life - watching people shop for their little ones, seeing children sit on Santa’s lap, longing for that excitement in our home, yet it was just quiet - desolate, empty, void of the happy anticipation that I just knew I was going to feel this Christmas - our first Christmas with a little one . . . and not just any little one, one that we fought HARD for, for years, enduring painful tests and treatments just to achieve our goal, a child of our very own.

Yet, I found myself in New York wandering the streets alone, trying desperately to choke back the tears when I saw sweet little girls bundled up in precious winter coats peering through the department store windows, pointing at all the toys and declaring, “Mommy, I want this,” and “Mommy, I want that.”  Brad and I had traveled to New York for Brad’s work thinking it might be our only opportunity to see New York in December.  I had always wanted to - still do, just when I’m in a better frame of mind.  Brad would head off to work from our tiny hotel room every morning and me, still snuggled under the covers of our bed, forced myself up and out every day to experience what I couldn’t at home.  What I really wanted to do was bury my head and turn back time, but I trudged on, and even now, I am quite proud of myself for getting out and exploring on my own.  I ate at a famous pizza shop for lunch, though I can’t remember the name right now, I stood in line for tickets to a Broadway play (Beauty and the Beast - my favorite), I marveled at all the gorgeous window displays, perused the department stores, I bought tickets for the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular and I watched the New York Rangers Hockey Team skate at Rockefeller Center for their annual Christmas party.

New York in December was amazing, but everything was viewed through blurry, stinging eyes that still couldn’t believe how our lives took a new path, one that we didn’t want to venture down, not ever.  How did we get here?  How did our lives change so incredibly much in one moment of time?  It was unfathomable.  And here we were in New York, this was the year of 9/11 - we even found ourselves at Ground Zero by pure accident.  I stood there in disbelief, but I had never seen the Towers before, so the impact wasn’t the same as it would be for someone else.  My heart hurt so much already that mostly, I just remained standing there in shock.  I actually have a hard time remembering much about it at all, yet I was gravely aware that more than just myself was hurting that year.

Well, that was a long story that I had not intended to write, and I never even got to the part about the ornament.  Okay, back to the point!  Susanne and I met for lunch in December of 2001 and as we were talking and crying, she handed me a package.  I opened up the package and it was a Christmas ornament that said “Halle  Oct. 21, 2001″ - yes, I burst into tears, just having something tangible with her name on it . . . the very special name that we chose, it meant so much to me to see it in writing, on such a special pink ornament with a little teddy bear on top, a teddy bear that is holding a pink heart.  We cried together, we remembered together and we talked about all of her features, how tiny she was, how much she was missed and the most important part . . . we just talked about HER - no one making me feel bad for bringing up her name, no one that I had to comfort because I was making THEM feel uncomfortable, remembering her, remembering that she made an impact in this world and that she will ALWAYS be remembered.

Sooo, this special ornament has a special place on our tree every year and every time I place it on that tree, I remember.

What a great way to start the New Year.  First of all, I only had to get up for just a minute during the middle of the night - thank you Brad!!!  I helped change one of Holden’s diapers, but was able to immediately fall back asleep - all while Brad fed Holden and got him back down for the night.  Then Holden slept until 8:30 a.m.  Yahoooooo!!!

We then got up, straightened the house a little and prepared breakfast.  Well, I guess that kind of turned into brunch.  Brad’s parents came over and my Mom is here so we had all the grandparents together.  It was wonderful.  Then we had an all out fantastic day of playing with our new Wii.  We were slower to get one than most, but we thought Kasen would be ready this year and boy were we right.  She’s awesome, and definitely watch out when she plays “swording” - she’s relentless. LOL

Today was my idea of a perfect day - spent with those we love.  If today is any indication of how 2010 is going to be, I can hardly wait to see what else will come our way.  Right now, I’m happy, and more than anything, completely content with our lives, and it’s taken me a reeeealllly long time to feel that way.  Our family is complete, and I feel that we can finally move forward with our lives - no more chasing the adoption dream . . . . it’s right here, right in our laps, very real, and more than that . . . it’s better than I ever imagined. *happy tears*

And now, on with the pic!! LOL  Kasen pleads and begs not to have a bath every night, but she has the best time once she gives in.  Here’s our spunky little gal in the bath tonight after our super fun and exciting day. ~

See ya’ later and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

Sooo excited to see what 2010 will bring.  Our 2009 was filled with changes - for one, a new little miracle entered our lives and completed our family with a bang!  It’s also been a year of ups and downs, but I’m happy to say we survived it all . . . maybe not with grace, but with our very own style, and I couldn’t be happier to see what will come our way next year. Bring it on!!

Santa forgot to put the candy canes in the stockings!!  Oh well, I guess Santa had a lot on his mind trying to pull Christmas together.  Thank goodness I found where Santa had left the candy canes in his rush to leave all the packages under the tree and fill all the stockings.  And boy was Kasen happy about that!!  Not only that, but these aren’t just ordinary peppermint candy canes, these are strawberry Starburst ones - tasty!

Happy, happy girl ~

And look who’s eating REAL baby food ~  Yes, I know, he doesn’t look happy about it, but trust me, he is!!  Those feet start kicking and he tries his hardest to grab the spoon from me to feed himself.  LOL

See ya’ later!!

Amazing- our first white Christmas since 1929,which means I’ve never seen one in my lifetime!!  We’ve had flurries before, but no accumulation.  I always laugh when I pull out some of my first Christmas pictures and I’m sitting in the front yard with a dress on, not even a sweater, and the sun is just shining.  Anyway, we saw the snow coming down hard on Christmas Eve, but being Texas, we certainly didn’t think it would last.  Well, I peered out the window Christmas morning and it was all white . . . snow covered bushes, snow covered yards, beautiful.  Kasen was THRILLED - little did she know she may never see a White Christmas again in her lifetime.  And Holden’s first Christmas - white - incredible.  I know, I know, all of our Canadian relatives and friends are probably laughing right now, but it was a big deal to us and FUN - just see the joy here on Kasen’s face!!

See ya’ later!!