Sorry I’ve been missing in action.  I have been sick, really sick for a LONG time.  I thought I would never get better, but I’m slowly coming around.  Not to mention the fact that I’m still healing from my knee surgery - it does NOT help when a certain four year old decides to kick it with all her might during a throw down temper tantrum, not once, but twice!  Ugh.  Then she fell on it just a few days ago.  Lovely.  Holden’s been in on it too - I was holding him on my lap and he threw his head back and hit it, yep, you guessed it, right smack dab in the middle of my knee.  Excruciating.  Now I know they’re both out to get me.  I’m limping more now than I was two weeks ago.  My doctor said that I couldn’t damage it again after surgery, and it’s certainly been put to the test.  I’m not sure he’s correct, but I’m hoping for my sake that he is.  The pain has just been downright horrible.

I keep meaning to post, but I just crash every night after the kids go to bed.  Thankfully our little guy has been sleeping through the night for one week now and I can’t even tell you how grateful I am for that.  I’m hoping that his all night sleeps continue because it’s GREAT.  However; little guy decides that he can now crawl at rocket speed and he’s taken up climbing in the last two days.  I’ve caught him on top of boxes and step stools so far.  He’s CRAZY I tell ya’.  Kasen wasn’t even crawling yet, so this is new for us.  Brad said, “Well, Kasen got into EVERYTHING and so does Holden, but Holden has twice the strength.” LOL  We are in T.R.O.U.B.L.E.

We had our annual Oscar party tonight with Kasen.  She got all dolled up and yes, I took pictures.  I’ll have to post them later because I just don’t have the energy to edit them and post them tonight.  However: here are some random pics that I’ve taken in the past month.  Enjoy!

P.S.  These are especially for you Gayle - a little birdie told me you had been asking!!!

That’s all for now.

See ya’ later!!

Little dude in his crib this afternoon.  The sick little guy was cooperative for about one minute, then the wailing began.  Good grief, can he ever cry.  Whew, exhausting.

Long day - Holden whining, my knee has been aching terribly all day - I’m ready for bed, but Holden is in crazy rare form.  On the other hand, Kasen was great today.  I’m super thankful for that!

Good night!  See ya’ later!!

This week’s theme for I Heart Faces is “We Are Family” and must have at least one adult in the photo.  I went in my daughter’s room one night and saw my husband with our children during story time.  I knew I needed to seize the moment on film, so I ran and grabbed my camera.  I’m so glad I did because it melts my heart every time I see this pic - knowing how special this is each and every night.  It’s one of the special times that I remember sharing with my Dad and my brother every evening. I love that my children are experiencing the same thing with their father.

“The best inheritance a parent can give to his children is a few minutes of their time each day.” ~ M. Grundler

Check out all the other great entries - Click here.

See ya’ later!

I’ve been taking pictures everyday, but I just haven’t been posting them.  My goal is to get at least one picture a day for the year 2010.  I may not get to posting them all, but I do have them documented in a calendar elsewhere.  That way, I will have this year documented without having to do much else.  I may even make it into a scrapbook.  If you know me at all, I’m not great at follow-through, so it’s HUGE that I’m even telling you this now.

Anyway, I wanted to share some of the pics I’ve taken in the last few days.

My absolutely stunning, wonderful, precious girl.

My funny, sweet, sensitive boy.

The ducklings that Kasen and I discovered at the park yesterday.  Aren’t they precious?!

Our beautiful bushes in our backyard.  I love the gorgeous red and gold colors that they turn in the fall.

That’s all for now!  See ya’ later!!

Yep, our little dude is super cute.  My goal was to get some good shots of Kasen and Holden together, and believe it or not, Kasen was the cooperative one! LOL Holden just wasn’t having it. He was fine as long as he had the spotlight all to himself though. Sooo, I got a few great shots of Holden solo, and I’m really pleased with them.  Of course, everything goes in his mouth right now because he is teething big time.  I’m thinking one of those little suckers should pop out pretty quick.  I’m betting his top right one will be next.  We’ll see.

As for me, I’m still slowly recovering, but I’m not in as much pain this evening thank goodness.  I did have an allergic reaction to the iodine that was used in surgery and I still have a lovely rash on my leg and it’s quite itchy.  I’m hoping that will be gone soon.  Leave it to me to have something like that happen.  Oh well, like I always say, it could be worse!

Since I’m not adding a pic of Kasen tonight, I’ll leave you with one of our funny conversations.

Kasen: “Mommy, can you walk?”

Me: “Well, not very well yet.”

Kasen: “But you can limp, right?”

Me: “Yes, I can limp.”

Kasen: “So you can limp-walk!” LOL

Funny girl - I love to hear how she thinks.

Okay, here’s the dude ~

See ya’ later!!

These were taken with a short visit with my little dude yesterday afternoon.  Thankfully, Brad’s parents have kept the kids for us since Tuesday evening.  I don’t know what we would have done without them.  I still am not able to walk well, but I’m getting better little by little.  There is a lot of swelling, the pain is still very intense ,and now that I have some anti-nausea medicine, it’s a little better.  Before, it was a choice to feel the pain or the choice to not have pain, but to throw up instead.  Not a fun choice.  Now, I just take the pain medication along with the anti-nausea medicine, the pain subsides and I feel better for a little while, even though I can’t stay awake.  Still better than what it was.

The kids came home this evening and we had a pizza party with Kasen.  She was SO cuddly, I really missed her.  And we had a lot of fun with Holden before he went down for the night.  We’ll see how long he lasts.  It’s hard, because I know I won’t be able to get him in the middle of the night, Brad will have to get him for me.  I’ll still be able to feed him and care for him, but I can’t really carry him around just yet.  I’m already missing my independence, but I keep reminding myself that it will come with time.  Thankfully, I have a lap top so I can still use my computer while I’m laid up.

Back to the little dude - I took these pics while Holden sat on the bed and visited me yesterday.  I had to capture those dreamy eyelashes and that pouty bottom lip of his - remember, that’s his trademark! LOL

See ya’ later!!

Surgery went well - cracked meniscus is repaired and I’m doing much better this evening.  My doctor also said that I have cartilage that’s flaking and it shouldn’t be doing that.  He informed Brad that I’ll have problems with that later on down the road.  That leaves me hoping that the technology will be even better by then.  Anyway, my only real problem today was trying to keep anything down.  The anesthesia always makes me so nauseous, so that part wasn’t fun at all.  But, I’m up and walking on my crutches and the pain pills are working, so I’m really not in too much pain right now.  I’ll let you know tomorrow how that’s going! LOL

Here’s my quick pic of the day - exciting, eh?! LOL

See ya’ later!!

Whew, I have knee surgery in the morning and I wouldn’t be telling the truth if I didn’t say I was extremely nervous.  I’ve had several surgeries before, but of course it’s never fun.  I hate getting the IV, I hate being cold in that piece of paper that they call a gown, and I hate the pain afterwards and feeling like I’ll never walk again.  I’m sure everything will be fine, but right now the nerves are getting the best of me.  I think it’s best just to call it a night and go to sleep so I don’t have to think about it anymore.  Sounds like a plan.

Since I can’t post without leaving a pic, here’s my sweet girl having a treat at Sonic.  What you don’t see is the mess that she left all over the car with that cherry slush that she’s so happily drinking.  Once again, my precious girl didn’t listen to me while I told her to leave the straw alone.  She ended up making a HUGE hole in the bottom of that cup and this Mom was NOT happy.  Oh well, it wasn’t the first and it most definitely won’t be the last . . . . . mess . . . . AND her not listening to me. LOL  She better be glad she’s cute. LOL

See ya’ later!!  Hopefully I’ll be back tomorrow if I’m not in too much pain. *doubly crossing fingers here*

We tried the annual family photo shoot this evening and it was NUTS.  Seriously. Mayhem. Out of control. Crying baby. Spastic girl. Tired parents. Willing grandparents that tolerated it all.  I just breezed through the photos to see if we got just.one.photo.  Well, I’m not sure - I *think* I may be able to fix ONE.  I love taking pictures of families, but just not my own.  I think it’s time to face the truth - it’s time to hire a photographer.  Well, there is one good thing that came out of all of this, Mom and I laughed until our sides hurt looking at all the shots.  I’ll have to add some of the outtakes later when I can narrow down a few since that’s pretty much all we got.  I’d say we could try it again, but I don’t know if I can take it. LOL

Here is one shot that I got tonight that I LOVE - notice, there are only THREE people in the shot - I can handle that!  It’s when the number of people got to seven this evening, that it was impossible to handle.  This is Brad’s parents with Holden - I just love the smiles on all of their faces, priceless.

See ya’ later!!

It’s always tradition to get a picture of Kasen with Halle’s ornament every year.  I guess it’s a way to include in her in all the festivities.  A little story behind the ornament - if you’ve read Halle’s story (here, here & here), you might know that only one other person held her besides Brad and myself, and it was our wonderful friend, Susanne.  She actually introduced Brad and I, so it was pretty fitting that since she was there for our happiest time, that she would be there for our darkest time as well.  Susanne called me every single day after we lost Halle, checking on me, listening to me vent, and lending a shoulder for me to cry on.  I’m sure we met several times after Halle died, but I really remember meeting her in December for lunch.  That December was the hardest December of my life - watching people shop for their little ones, seeing children sit on Santa’s lap, longing for that excitement in our home, yet it was just quiet - desolate, empty, void of the happy anticipation that I just knew I was going to feel this Christmas - our first Christmas with a little one . . . and not just any little one, one that we fought HARD for, for years, enduring painful tests and treatments just to achieve our goal, a child of our very own.

Yet, I found myself in New York wandering the streets alone, trying desperately to choke back the tears when I saw sweet little girls bundled up in precious winter coats peering through the department store windows, pointing at all the toys and declaring, “Mommy, I want this,” and “Mommy, I want that.”  Brad and I had traveled to New York for Brad’s work thinking it might be our only opportunity to see New York in December.  I had always wanted to - still do, just when I’m in a better frame of mind.  Brad would head off to work from our tiny hotel room every morning and me, still snuggled under the covers of our bed, forced myself up and out every day to experience what I couldn’t at home.  What I really wanted to do was bury my head and turn back time, but I trudged on, and even now, I am quite proud of myself for getting out and exploring on my own.  I ate at a famous pizza shop for lunch, though I can’t remember the name right now, I stood in line for tickets to a Broadway play (Beauty and the Beast - my favorite), I marveled at all the gorgeous window displays, perused the department stores, I bought tickets for the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular and I watched the New York Rangers Hockey Team skate at Rockefeller Center for their annual Christmas party.

New York in December was amazing, but everything was viewed through blurry, stinging eyes that still couldn’t believe how our lives took a new path, one that we didn’t want to venture down, not ever.  How did we get here?  How did our lives change so incredibly much in one moment of time?  It was unfathomable.  And here we were in New York, this was the year of 9/11 - we even found ourselves at Ground Zero by pure accident.  I stood there in disbelief, but I had never seen the Towers before, so the impact wasn’t the same as it would be for someone else.  My heart hurt so much already that mostly, I just remained standing there in shock.  I actually have a hard time remembering much about it at all, yet I was gravely aware that more than just myself was hurting that year.

Well, that was a long story that I had not intended to write, and I never even got to the part about the ornament.  Okay, back to the point!  Susanne and I met for lunch in December of 2001 and as we were talking and crying, she handed me a package.  I opened up the package and it was a Christmas ornament that said “Halle  Oct. 21, 2001″ - yes, I burst into tears, just having something tangible with her name on it . . . the very special name that we chose, it meant so much to me to see it in writing, on such a special pink ornament with a little teddy bear on top, a teddy bear that is holding a pink heart.  We cried together, we remembered together and we talked about all of her features, how tiny she was, how much she was missed and the most important part . . . we just talked about HER - no one making me feel bad for bringing up her name, no one that I had to comfort because I was making THEM feel uncomfortable, remembering her, remembering that she made an impact in this world and that she will ALWAYS be remembered.

Sooo, this special ornament has a special place on our tree every year and every time I place it on that tree, I remember.